you remind me of something someone once said: "you can never learn anything, only remember it". i kind of feel like that about vegetarianism. when i discovered this, it was like something i'd somehow forgotten and then found again.
Yes! It's a very strange feeling, a little bit like if you'd know everything :)
By the way I came to vegetarianism (veganism, actually, with some stupid exceptions, because I did not know anything about veganism either!) through some my favorite poets (they were Buddhists as I learned later), and then I started seriously practice yoga and realized that the true way is only through Ahimsa; zen koans later only sublimate my moral credo and "bridged" my intellect with them.
i'd expand on this a bit but i'm not sure my spiritual beliefs would be too appropriate for this thread???
Sure it's my thread and I am interested! But I would suggest you to open your own topic (as me and Laura did) and allow us to comment.
detailed "Nutritional" Story
2010.09.08
I was a child of two healthy young students in a big city, who were not into kids at all :) I was breast-fed normally, but when they tried to introduce some common foods into my diet I refused quite violently, all my later childhood I heard funny stories about my fight against feeding. Once my pediatrician even took me for 3 days to feed "rightly", and returned me as a "hopeless case" earlier than planned.
When I was 1 year old, I was given away to my grandparents, who lived in a smaller city in their own self-build home with a big orchard and vegetable garden. Our diet consisted of fresh, self-sun-dried or preserved in glass fruits (depended on season), traditional tomato-onion salads with sunflower oil, vegetable soups, dark rye and wheat breads with milk, some fresh and cooked veggies, and self-made bakery on special days. The orchard was amazing, I still dream about it. There were many big fruit trees - apples of many types for most of the year, pears, plums, apricots, sweet and sour cherries, and others), bushes of raspberries, black and red currants, gooseberries, etc., and underneath all possible other verities of berries (wild and normal strawberries, for example) and vegetables, many tomatoes and green peas. To gather them was a great fun. I still prefer these types of fruit to others. There was a quite big field with potatoes, that required the most work.
My grandparents also held chickens who had their own house and run
around with cats and dogs. They were fun to play with, but I hated the
special raw egg drink I was given regularly: yolks and whites of
2-3 raw eggs were simply mixed into a liquid and it
was considered very nutritious.
I needed to drink goat milk, provided by neighbor, every day. I made friends with the child of a/the goat, and was horrified when (s)he was killed for meat by specially invited professional. I was 3 or 4 at that time, I don't even know whether I ever ate this flesh, which is horrible to me. I probably pushed this experience deep into subconsciousness, because I forget about it for many years. I also lost my other friend around that time, a dog, under the wheels of the car. Both of those buddies were white in color, and till this day I feel something indescribable by seeing white fur animals. For example, when I was already a young woman, I tried to help an albinos cat from the neighborhood, and I was devastated when I saw the wounds from other people and cats on his body, and when I eventually lost him out of my sight. The next dog of my grandparents, wonderful Chapa, recognized me with joy 10 years later, when I was grown up!
When I was 5, I went to live with my parents again, to another large industrial city. They both were professionally very busy, and I was submitted to a 24-7 kindergarten, but I was taken home every late evening and on weekends. Those were tough times: for the early breakfasts at home I was given scrambled eggs with beacon, bread with butter and cheese every morning and it was a scandal each time, because those seemed to be inedible to me. In the supposedly half-elite children-facility I hardly ever eaten anything but bread with some traditional sweet drinks made out of dried fruit. My portions of unattractive looking food were happily taken by my pals. My parents talked to my mentors many times and asked them to leave me in peace, because they give me better food at home, but the "educators" still tried to feed me now and then. Those ladies had their own understanding of right and wrong, they, as I understood later, were cruel to children physically and emotionally, but this is a different story. The supper at home was standard, as far as I remember: a soup, a big seasonal salad, a boiled cereal dish or potatoes with some meat by side, a small desert. My parents were strong on "good nutrition" and everything were made fresh and counted by nutritional value according to books. They had not had any money-worries and we always had best possible food in normal understanding. On the weekends we often had guests and had special dishes made for them, or gone to parties to friends homes, where I ate mostly sweets.
At that time I learned to hide the food I don't want to eat (meat - in special bags for street dogs, many children did the same; or sometimes under the furniture, I even through it out of the window :). Often I was left to sit alone in the dining room till I eat one or another dish I did not like. Funny, most of the time it were deserts - pies, which I disliked in the early childhood for some reason, together with ice-cream.
I spent summers by my other grandparents in the other big city, and I had all freedom I wanted, because they were working all the time, and even the rest of the days I spent on streets, running wildly with my friends till late at night, playing and gathering mulberries, apples and pears and other fruits right in the public parks and half-private orchards, sometimes stealing them for fun. Fruit were in abundance in summer, and very cheap. At home I preferred them and all kinds of bread. But my relatives we wealthy people, and I remember eating dainty meats and fish often, as well as chicken soup and boiled beef, my grandmother considered to be very healthy. I remember liking eating most of those things, and especially caviar, which I ate with tea spoons - later I was always confused by this memories.
Going a little back in time, I was happy to go to school at 7, because I dreamed about it, and because I gained some liberty. In that time I was already disciplined in "normal" breakfasts (I won only in removing butter) and suppers, but the rest of the day I was free to eat what I wanted. In school it was some pastry with fruit-based drinks, the most suitable for me stuff they had in the cafe, though they had a milk-drinking program there, and at home it was bread with something on it (most often with vegetable pates and cheeses), nuts and seeds, my favorite tomato-salads and fruits. Playing with tastes I slowly developed into a gourmet.
In the middle of all this we went to live to a sub-tropical country for a couple of years - that was a paradise to me: I was demanded to eat only some beef regularly (my parents believed that meat made us smart), and the rest was an impressive variety of tropical fruits, we have them all over the place in huge quantities. Mango was my favorite from the standard fruits, but with other kids on the streets we spent lots of times climbing on all possible wild trees and discovered special fruit types like special kinds of tamarinds, but most names of them I don't know till now. I do remember the tastes and miss them the same way I miss all other non-commercial, mildly-sweet, full of deep flavors fruits of my childhood.
One episode was important (I was 10 at the time): one day some kids on the next street decided to get some money by beating up a young black cat with long sticks, standing in a circle and pushing it inside of it from one to another. Their were right with their expectations, all other kids run home for money to bail the cat out, but it happened that my mother was there and saved the cat, and we took him home. It was painful to see what a fear he had of all people, he accepted only us and never went outside or came near the door, even when he became mature and surely needed to find a mate. And from the beginning it was clear that he was trained to do things cats never do: e.g. to stand in his back feet, asking for food or permission to go into a room... This example of human cruelty made me think a lot.
Anyway, after we returned to a temperate climate, we gone back to normal routine. I started to eat
more sweets, sometimes lots of candies at ones, and dry-roasted seeds. In that time I also became caffeine
addicted. My father drunk lot's of espresso, and my mum was into
black teas - I followed both, stopped adding sugar already with 13-14,
and ended up with huge doses of green tee and mate (Paraguay tea) in the following
decade. The habit crashed me
later many times, rob my sleep and made my mood unstable. Probably, I started to drink more and more coffee and tea to deal with stress: I was living in a permanent neurosis at home, because both of my parents had quite a temperament. On top of that, I was always
expected to be the best at school, we studied 6 days a week, 6-7
lessons a day with a huge load of homework (even more later when I went
to a math-class), I needed best notes to go to university, and I had a music school parallel to usual one, with
permanent exams, tests, concerts, and practicing.
BTW, I was 11 when my interest in healing powers of plants make me read the books on the subject, draw and analyze the known plants. I was around 13 years old when I read a book on medicinal fasting and started to practice short-terms fast regularly (at first, each Friday I would drink only water, but I became very hungry the next day and could not always handle it right).
When I was 17-18, I started to practice yoga seriously. I read many theoretical books and understood that without being a vegetarian there could be no any progress in all stages of yoga. I was also thinking about my favorite Chinese and Japanese poets, who were Buddhists, and after researching their philosophy I understood that there is one underlying principle of nonviolence (ahimsa). This was a big step in understanding ethics for me, I was not that touched by western philosophers before, and their realization of their moral laws was either incomplete or I was not aware about it at that time. It is interesting that we had a little book in our home library with vegetarian recipes, and I looked in it before, but there was not even a word about morality of meat-eating.
As a child I read many excellent books about life of animals and their psychology, watched wonderful films about nature, I depicted them and admired their beauty, I played with them and felt no big distance at all (our smart, kind and elegant cat was a member of the family and had a impressive personality), - but it never became clear to me that I eat bodies of the same beings. Later I thought it was a part of cultural mystification and that made me angry, I had troubles to forgive myself for being so blind either.
Living in highly urbanized areas, I have not developed good understanding of plants, we even had not had any any plants at home, which was not usual. But in later times I had my window right in front of the cores of few big trees, and I could watch how they change, how beautiful they were, the fool of events life of birds on them, and one tree became very special to me, so much that I gave it a name,
Martin. There was a long alley of beautiful healthy trees on that street, but when I left, they all were cut down. I cannon describe you what I felt. I was able to watch the last of the trees was cut ... piece by piece. I could not take it, I went away and tell a friend I met on the street all I though about it, and he agreed that it was an awful and stupid act. I think most of people would agree with it.
The day I stopped to eat flesh: it was a windy gray day of early spring, I was 19, I was standing for a while still, looking at the window, I had in my hand (or in my head, I don't know it for sure any more) a picture with slaughtering of a caw (I got it from Green Piece by chance, I believe) and just understood that I won't do it any more.
The first months were hard emotionally for many reasons, but I never had even an idea to go back. The ugliest episode of craving was this one: I was watching my mom giving our cat a portion of freshly pasteurized fish on his plate, and I realized I was ready to grab some pieces and eat them with the same pleasure my cat did. I went to my room and cried about my weakness. I cut out a picture of a seal, looking in horror out of oily water from a magazine, and I looked in his eyes each time I was tempted by the smell of food, to remind myself, what this food is. People around me were alarmed by my decision, because, as I found out, I could eat only a little part of normally offered foods. I never learned to cook and did not realized how radical my decision was. I was told many times that I would simply die very soon from serious diseases. It may sound strange to you if you live in California now, for example, but in that society at that time it was the common belief. I met the first vegetarian person in my life only 11 years later (a beautiful vegan Girl in my Spanish class).
Despite all my determination, I did not want to die too early, though, I was ready to - I was maximalistic at that time :), so I started to read all books on nutrition I could find and I realized very soon that vegetarianism is even healthier choice than omnivore diet! That was just great. I learned many things, almost excluded plenty of bad foods out of my diet (sugar, salt, yeast, and plenty of other things). Some of those books were quite stupid, but some was excellent in those invaluable pieces of advise they gave: they helped me a lot to stay on my way. I cleaned my body (colon and liver) with various techniques, including yoga mudras. I used my practical knowledge in short term fasting and herbal cleansing powers. And very soon I was totally convinced that it was a great way to live.
In one of those books I met somebodies positive opinion on eating only fruits and nuts, and I was certainly mentally and physically ready to receive the message: I just new it was the right thing to do - something I always wanted, perfect in so many ways. In the very beginning I used to "jump" into fruits by eating only oranges,
bananas and apples once a day for a months or two, but I could not hold it for long. I returned to eating fruit and nuts, and seeds, and other veggies. I always ate fruit separately, because those meals were my real joy, and I always ate them first thing on a day. Often I would eat around 2-3 kg of common fruits of the season and 100-200 g of
seeds or nuts a day, maybe more.
I did have some difficulties: my perfect skin went too dry, and
they became more sensitive, I had periods of indigestion, excessive
appetite and feeling cold.
In the beginning, especially in early spring, I ate preserved and commercially dried fruits in addition to expensive tropical varieties. As addition to fruit and as a replacement for nuts I used to soak sunflower seeds, or eat them simply dry-roasted - they were very cheap, and that was very helpful in poor times I gone trough being a student. Sometimes I was trying to nourish myself with oat flakes (and few other kinds for a shorter while): in the beginning I used to buy the flakes and soaked them in cold or warm water; later I found even raw oat meal and ate it instead of nuts. I also tried it with lentils (soaked and rapidly cooked), buckwheat and quinoa later. I felt OK, but not wonderful. Sometimes I ate lots of frozen berries or green peas, but I certainly prefer them fresh. I was experimenting a lot with dried fruit many times in various proportions, but was not happy with them. For few months I ate dates instead of nuts, but did not want to eat them any more - too much sweetness for me. Slightly cooked vegetables were also a part of my trials for weeks, as well as making smoothies with bananas and strawberries as a foundation - I returned to fresh fruit because they were just much better. There was a period of eating many (2-8, is small, a day) avocados, and I even liked that, but the problem was their low attainability, high price and often low quality (bruised). I also tried eating raw bars, mostly "Lara Bars" (cherry-one was my favorite), but I learned that they are often of low quality in stores (not fresh), and not raw for the most part, as well as most dried fruits and nuts. That was a big disappointment. I ate less and less nuts and seeds with time anyway. There were also periods, beginning from 2002, when I tried to introduce organic tofu in my diet, but I could not hold to it for long, because I felt only half-satiated, and kind of less energetic after it.
The first more or less complete information on fruitarianism (I learned the word in the same time) I found in internet in 2003, when I was 29, I believe, I was site FUN (Fruitarian Universal Network), and I was just bursting with joy realizing I am not the only one "crazy" out there :)
Soon after that, when I was already 30, I found videos about milk industry and for me it was even worse than just killing animals for flesh. Since then I never put a milk-product in my mouth. I was happy I had not eaten them normally before, only sometimes in certain situations, but right before that I ate goat cheese several times, because I was drown to it. The same for eggs: if before I could try a cake with most probably eggs in it, but after that disclosure I would not touch such cake. The same for leather: I bought only shoes out of it before that, but after those videos I hunted for non-leather shoes desperately. In short, in Summer 2004 I learned that I am almost vegan and just rounded it out. Few years later I could not watch "Earthlings" at one piece, if you know what i mean, as well as many other under-cover made videos. I am deeply hurt by these human practices, and I sometimes cry desperately, because I still can't handle the knowing what is happening to the sentient beings at the each given moment...
In that year I started to research food deeper, and began to eat only raw nuts (pecans and Spanish almonds, and later pine seeds in special packages) or other additions to fruit, and the whole year was raw, with exceptions of glass-preserved green peas in winter several times, and some rice and potatoes in spring. Then I added some baked yams and potatoes for a while, but in a couple of months noticed that it did not work well for me. I experimented with fruit mixes too, but mostly because I was longing for something in taste I could not find.
So, I ended up with eating only fresh juicy fruit day by day primarily
by elimination of other acceptable fruitarian foods, that turned out to be
not very attractive to me. I was always open to try new things if they
sounded reasonable, but after you know what's the best for you you tend
to chose only that, and it is fruit for me, as they are.
If I have
enough time and money to provide myself with fresh organic fruits, I
chose them almost exclusively. Unfortunately, sometimes I don't manage
well, I save money if to get what I want would be way too expensive.
Sometimes I feel it is appropriate to test or eat some vegan food in
social situations, and I have emotional moments where I chose to eat
something solely for its taste and memories it wakes up in me (for
example, it was like that with baked potatoes, that we used to bake
after sitting around open fire with my friends long-long ago). It took
me normally 1-3 times to eat that food and to realize that the taste is
actually quite different from that in memory, and that I can do great
without it.
We, human beings, are often tightly bonded to our foods, but there is nothing dramatic in making new better choices. I often used step by step rule (remove one undesirable habit at a time) and it was difficult only in the very beginning with few relapses later - that's nothing. Most of my predispositions vanished after 3-4 weeks, and left only a feeling of relief and satisfaction with myself.
Wish you to find your way easy and stay on it with joy.
My Health
My body measurements and indexes are normal:
- BMI: 18.9 - 19.05 (Body Mass
Index between 18.5 and 24.9 is normal).
- WHR - 0.69 at the moment (A Waist to Hip Ratio
of 0.7 for women and 0.9 for men have been shown to correlate
strongly with general health and fertility. Women within the 0.7 range
have optimal levels of estrogen
and are less susceptible to major diseases.). I am female.
- My body fat percentage at the moment is estimated
to be around 20 % using the U.S. Navy
body fat formula, or around 23 % using the formula
developed by the YMCA. (Average for females is 32%, ideal - 22%). Go
figure. But I am not very skinny!
Mistakes and exceptions
Few month ego I made an attempt to examine my deviations from my nutritional plan:
Spring 2010, excerpt from this blog: Drinking water and why still not 100%
I
was evaluating my "nutritional" mistakes
by making a time line
for the last couple of years (with exceptions in the past months) and periods without them, how I
remember it, and decided to share them with you. I am already feel
sorry for the readers - it may sound disappointing, it kind of was to
me. I feel like I should not post it on a lfrv site, but I publish it
here for the sake of honesty in sharing experience. I am not counting
occasional food tasting (tiny amounts).
All other meals I had were
fresh fruit (and little nuts seldom, lately - none). I still don't know
in each case, why exactly I did that. Here it goes:
October 2008 - January 2009
More than 4 month 100% raw fruit, many times mixed;
February 2009: a small vegan dish - once; (reason:
made for me by a very good friend);
March 2009: brown rice (cooked) with cayenne, tofu with
curcuma - few times in this month;
(reasons: emotional crises; attraction
specifically to curcuma and cayenne, before eating them on other food I
tried to drink them with water).
May - July 2009: 100% (not sure; if there was an exception,
then I just don't now what it was and when anymore);
August 2009: corn chips (baked), carrots
(raw) with humus (not-raw) - few times each;
September 2009 - mid
October: carrots (raw), guacamole (raw, fresh, but spicy), cabbage
(raw) - few times each;
(reason: by corn and cabbage it could be emotional
attachment, childhood memories, together with weakness after a
coldness/flu, could be wish "to belong", because it was in a social
situation);
mid October 2009 - mid
February 2010
4 month 100% raw fruit, strictly mono-eating - experiment.
mid February - April: cabbage (raw)
and some raw and non-raw vegetables, bread without yeast (felt not that
bad as expected, but without big satisfaction - disappointment), green
peas or artichokes (caned; felt very bad from both!) - all few times;
(reasons:
by the first cabbage salad with other vegetables it was what I call a
"taste crises" - fruits became way too sweet and "tasteless" to me at
the same time, I became very sensitive to flavors of spices I
recognized around me and I was unsatisfied in a strange way, so eating
the salad felt good, but it was salty and made me feel pretty
uncomfortable afterwords; as for others: traveling in places with too
little ripe fruit evaluable, bad organization, nervousness).
BTW, I felt worse emotionally when I had raw carrots
and cabbage (not fruits, to eat them are against one of my main
principles) than eating not raw peas (but they were way to salty or
felt like that to me and it disturbed my water balance badly).
