Please read this article if you:
- try to figure out why I did not answer your question,
- would like to understand why I do not discuss fruitarianism privately,
- or want to talk with me in private anyway.
Before I start, please let me tell you that I am painfully aware that by refusing to discuss fruitarianism in private messages in the recent years and by making it difficult to contact me, I might have lost precious opportunities to get to know wonderful human beings. I hope you will understand me better after this explanation.
Even till this day, after I many years ago announced that I would not discuss fruitarianism or any related subject in private any longer, I still receive questions even through my personal public profiles, as well as requests for my help in specific personal situations, for recommendations, product reviews, and health advice.
First, if you have been considering to message me with some of these of similar concerns, please read about my credentials, and consider whether you need an input from a person like me.
Second, let me explain with examples, why I do not engage in private conversations on this topics any longer, and describe the ways to receive my thoughtful suggestions if you really want to.
Why Do I Not Discuss Fruitarianism Casually Anymore
During the years from 2009 to 2013 I was very active online, creating communities, sharing information on forums, in groups and responding to private messages. I was sort of on a mission to provide information about fruitarianism as truthfully as I could, because I realised that people usually don't invest much time into serious research and reading, and prefer human interaction in form of questions and answers. I thought popularizing fruitarianism, and specifically higher fruit consumption for everyone, was a noble cause I would give most of my free time for.
During those five years I changed my position. I still feel that it is partially my duty to humanity to share my unusual experience and knowledge, but I am not willing to throw away my time on it inefficiently any longer. My mailbox grew so much, that at any given day I had hundreds of emails I tried to answer, but it would take me hours of work just to respond minimally to simple questions or provide links to existing materials. Most of the questions though required me to read the lengthy description of the situation, ask additional questions, review additional materials, and only then I could give a satisfactory piece of advice - in terms of what I would do, what doctors I would search for, which topics I would look into - only if I would spend close to an hour on each request.
After a while my personal life suffered tremendously, because even filtering out most important, urgent, deep or friendly messages and concentrating on communication with deserving or just polite people, would take disproportionate chunks of my time. Previously to implementing this strategy, I noticed that many people took my efforts for granted. In some cases they did not even thanked me, probably because they did not like my answers. In some cases, to many for my taste, providing my informed perspective, stating the limitations of it, and pointing to the unknown that possibly matters as well, did not evoke even sufficient respect to me as to an engaging conversational partner. Instead, some people tried to preach to me their religious, moral and cultural convictions, or just stated their current preferences and were displeased that I questioned them.
Maybe you have already guessed that I could not allow myself to invest the precious time of my fleeting life in this process any longer. I withdraw myself almost entirely from such communication - not with hundreds, but with thousands of internet users - and it took me a few years to return: on different terms.
I have seen something similar was happening to a few other people who tried to maintain their presence online without monetization. Many of us were exhausted by attention, which was not only substantially positive or negative, but also indifferent, if you will:
- journalists seeking for exotic guests or topics,
- lonely people looking for any kind of attention and getting upset by not getting enough,
- random visitors, exploding in sporadic adoration or rudeness, often interchangeably,
- individuals, targeting anyone approachable to engage in irrelevant to you debates,
- readers, significantly misinterpreting your content and reacting inadequately,
- people with various flaws in their critical thinking,
- emotionally unstable persons,
- slightly curious folks,
Sometimes, I still respond to an occasional question due to the difficulty of ignoring or quickly dismissing people, especially if their letters are very nice. I will try harder to discipline myself though.
To give you a fun example, one of the recent questions to me was from a young girl about condoms: which type I would recommend to use in a specific situation. My answer turned out to be useless to her, because she already tried that brand and hated it (she was very sweet about it though). I spend more than half an hour on our interaction.
I understand that such questions people don't want to post publically. However, public interaction may be useful to multiple people, we could figure out together what are the pros and cons - the favorable and the unfavorable factors or reasons. Public comments and answers on sites like this will be indexed by search engines, can attract more people to the fruitarian topics. And that is what I want: I want most people on the Earth to think about ethical issues, about consequences of their consumption on our common environment, and about increase of fresh fruit in their diet so beneficial to their health.
I have invested uncountable hours into building a credible database on this site, and it is all free.
For those reasons, I am unable and unwilling to invest my personal time in private conversations with acquaintances or strangers. I will do it only for my close friends and for people who would prove to me that it matters to them: primarily in form of money. I strongly support win-win interactions, among all forms of life, and especially between people. For me, answering private questions is not only a non-beneficial, but a highly restricting activity: it is a job that keeps me by the computer, reducing my time spent on people I love, work I am passionate about, being outside - living my life.
For example, one of my professional activities is giving lessons in business German. I get paid $40-50 an hour, and I highly enjoy the process of real human interaction, of seeing people starting expressing their thoughts in this deep language, and being helpful intellectually gives me tremendous satisfaction. I would not do it for free though, just because it is not realistic, or sustainable, or fair. Typing messages, recording my voice, putting myself on camera are not highly rewarding activities. Plus, I take the responsibility for my words.
Thus, if you really want my friendly advice - a serious discussion of any of your concerns related to fruitarianism and finding the best ways to improve your life in your particular set of circumstances, just pay for my time, and I will be happy to give you my best.
The more relevant detail about yourself and your situation you will give (a paragraph or two is usually enough), the better and more specific my answer will be.